Sunday, 10 July 2011

On spending: why the Frugal is Fabulous challenge is really a challenge for me!

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(See image) Ok so don't we all? I won't lie. Like everyone else I have a long list of wants! There are so many things that we have been conditioned to believe will make our lives better. In order to be happy, we should have it all! The perfect partner, children, career, house, figure, car, wardrobe, handbag, clothes, gadgets, etc, etc......... the list seems neverending! But while I have to admit that a lot of these things may be good for our mental and physical health, for example having a wonderful, supportive partner, enjoying your job, or having a healthy weight, a lot of others may actually be quite unnecessary. 



Recently I have been reading the Minimalist Woman's Guide to Having It All after the lovely Skhen recommended it to me when I was brainstorming ideas for the Frugal is Fabulous Challenge. Now I don't think that I will embrace full on minimalism but there is a lot of what the author writes in her ebook that makes complete sense. I plan on including reading this amazing ebook as one of the challenge tasks later on but for now I just wanted to share with you a few of the things I have learned about myself since I started the challenge.


I am only 10 days into the Challenge which I started on Friday the 1st July. And even though it is still early days,  it is soooooooooooo hard! The night before the challenge was due to start I had a crisis of confidence. 'What am I doing I thought?' 'How on earth am I supposed to last for 5 entire months without buying myself a treat?' I panicked and did something extremely naughty! I used my iPad and ordered not one but TWO maxi dresses! And I already own so many of them! I had a couple of events to attend in the first week of the challenge, a dinner and a birthday party. And I convinced myself that I had NOTHING TO WEAR and that I NEEDED THEM! But this is a total lie. I had perfectly good dresses that I could have worn, dresses that none of the people would have seen before.  So I ended up returning them and now I can breathe a sigh of relief! 


So friends I fell off the wagon before I even started! But it is important to pick yourself right back up and move on. 

Let me share another incident. On the first day of the challenge I decided that I should go and get my friend a birthday present. I wanted to get something pretty for her as she is also a girly girl. But when I walked into the store I found myself picking up things that I liked. I started visualising how I would look with said item, what shoes I would use, how I would mix and match. Without even recognising it I was already shopping for myself! I became alarmed. I could not cope with falling off the wagon again NOW THAT I HAD ACTUALLY STARTED THE CHALLENGE! That would make me a hypocrite. My pulse started to race. I felt bombarded by consumerism. I felt weak! So I put everything back and walked out of the store. And asked my dear hubby to go with me on another day to help keep me on the straight and narrow.

OK so why I am sharing this with you? Because you know that I tell it as it is! And also I want you to know that I feel in a way that I have been brainwashed along with everyone else into thinking that I need stuff to feel good about myself. I am not going to cry myself down or spend any more time feeling guilty. But I am recognising why this challenge is so important. And I am looking forward to developing a heathier relationship with my money and much less impulse buying in the future. DH has been a star and is probably my fabfrugal buddy (in hindsight I should have recommended getting a buddy in the Day 0 post). He has reminded me that one of the reasons for this challenge is because I want to save the money to get something that is really lovely. But I underestimated how hard it would be to break old habits (i.e. treating myself EVERY MONTH). And the fact that I live in a society where millions are spent on getting us all to spend, spend, spend and buy, buy, buy. But I am learning and each day is a step in the right direction.


How is it going for you lovelies? Please share in the comments. And remember you can still join the challenge including the associated facebook page at any point!


:-)

13 comments:

Leia said...

I get the same way when shopping for other people - picking up things that *I* would like! It's good that you're recognising this, though, it will help you from caving in :)

Leia

Priyanka said...

I am unofficially a part of this challenge and i am being more mindful of my purchases. No buying stuff, just because. There has to be a good reason for it and I normally talk it out with the husband to see if my spending is worthy.

In independent situations,I go to the store and if I am getting overwhelmed, I just leave the stuff and if there is
something that just sticks with me, I will go and buy it the next day. That is value for your buck. Okay that was a long essay comment :)

Steve said...

You should live here in France... it would cure you of your desire for 7 day shopping...

Everything closes on Sundays. A lot of individual stores close for 2 hours at lunch times. If a store opens on Saturdays, they are often closed on Mondays.

And in the supermarkets although in general they don't close at lunch times and they are open 6 days of the week, they might be big but the range is very much reduced compared to UK.

But you get used to it.... believe me you do!

TheProDiva said...

Good for you on returning the dresses! You're doing well! Each time you feel yourself about to fall off the wagon, just think of your many blog followers who are roughing it out with you! You go girl!

Alison Reeves said...

Its good to know others struggle too.

I had to go shopping today (to return something I bought before the challenge began and to pick up a present and some wrapping paper). I managed to browse Rymans without making any Filofax purchases (they had some pockets and minis on sales which of course I just don't need).

I also picked up and hugged and nearly bought a baking dish in M&S - then I stopped and thought about it and realised that whilst I really do need a baking dish (for lasagne and cottage pie) this wasn't EXACTLY what I wanted so even though it was reduced I shouldn't buy it!

I doubt I will end up doing this challenge perfectly, but what is brilliant is that it is making me question every urge to spend, and teaching me to value what I already have. I own far to much so I am also going to get started selling stuff on ebay to raise some cash.

Thanks for sharing!

Savannah said...

Very insightful and inspirational. We are conditioned to be materialistic by our culture and it is almost like a hero's journey to wade through the temptations. Your stronger than you think- returning those dresses, walking out of store. Great to have a supportive partner too. Keep going, your doing well. It is a Challenge, is it not!

trininista said...

I can so relate to shopping for friends and picking up things I like. Do you know how many times I have bought stuff for friends and then kept it cause I liked it and then ended up spending more money on their actual gift? lol. I am a nightmare. But when I consciously make up my mind to spend wisely, I can. Good luck. AND...where on earth you wearing these maxi dresses? I have 4 with me and only wore one once since I here. steups.

caribbean princess said...

Leia I hope so! Why are there so many things just tempting me?

Priyanka, that is an excellent idea.vOften after you have slept on it, you think that it is unnecessary.

Ha Steve! It wouldnt matter as most of my shopping is online ;-)

Oh ProDiva thanks for your support. I really do hope so. Currently I am getting DH to'treat' me to make up for my inability to spend my own money.

caribbean princess said...

Alison I am happy you are getting something positive out of it. Personally I love shopping. But I do need to be more caareful to stop myself buying unnecessary things on impulse that I end up not using!

Oh Savannah so very true! I know a challenge isnt supposed to be easy. Maybe I should have caled it my no shopping easy! hehe

Trininista you made me laugh re the maxi dresses and your gift buying. I cant tell you how many times I have ended up doing that. I wear maxi dresses a lot of the time. I even have some thicker versions for autumn and winter. You can throw a cardigan or little jacket over it for warmth. Also I have been here almost 8 years now so I have acclimatised!

Imy said...

Im all excited about starting today! I may of been a bit naughty at lunch time and had more than planned but it was within my budget for lunch so was ok and recorded it all, but at the moment i don’t feel a need for anything other than some nice sunglasses (ive got in the habbit of treating myself to one BIG thing a month) but recently that has been getting me in to trouble and have had to borrow money off my boss, so as i just got a mulberry and two new filofaxes i feel i should be ok, but I have to pay for travel and hotels so I will have to buy some things anyway :-( but then its normal at first to slip up a bit afterall being stuck in a little thing where you do the same thing every month it’s a bit of a habbit!

I'm sure your going to do a lot better than me :-) hehe

I'm not even going to buy anything at the Philofaxy meet up, maybe a few inserts…….

caribbean princess said...

:-)Imy, maybe one SMALL thing per month. Or save up for a good few months so you can get the ONE big thing. I am wanting to make better purchases so the things I have now will last me for years. I have some items that I brought with me from Trinidad almost 8 years ago that I still love and use. That is the kind of long term stuff I want! :-)

Quality not quantity..... hehe

trininista said...

You inspired me to pull out my blue and green maxi dress yesterday. I said "I will go brave!" It worked. I looked cute. My friend thought I looked cute. It did not rain. I had a matching shrug. I gave the thing some appreciation!!!!! Amen! lol

caribbean princess said...

Trininista see I TOLD you! Now you need to wear ALL of your maxi dresses so the others won't get jealous :-)

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